When you’ve been friends with someone forever, it seems like there is no way that anything could happen which would tear you both apart except death. Yet, sometimes life comes at us out of nowhere, and the best of friends can turn on one another without blinking an eye. The most common reason for this separation is betrayal. Maybe your best friend stole your spouse or told your darkest secret? Maybe it was your best friend who was behind all those scandalous rumors that have been going around? When a good friend goes bad it makes you wonder, who can you really trust? The thing is, a REAL best friend doesn’t go bad. They do not spread rumors or betray their friends in anyway. They are not competitive, envious or malicious. While of course, simple squabbles will occur like in any friendship, these are quickly forgotten and the friendship is left without any damage.
Even through you know that a real friend would not have left you shocked and in the dust, it doesn’t take away from the pain that sets in. The first reaction is often anger, but as this anger subsides you may even miss your old best friend. You need to forget this so called friend and move on with your life. Once the trust is broken, it can never be repaired and your friendship will just be one of suspicion and questioning. Moving on can seem difficult, especially if that person was a huge part of your life, but it is definitely do-able and with time you will forget about the person you once called your best friend.
So, you may be wondering exactly how you can get through this? Well losing a best friend is somewhat similar to a breakup. Your heart is broken and while you just want to sit home and eat a gallon of ice cream while watching your favorite chick flick, that type of healing is only temporary. After allowing yourself enough time to grieve, get out there, find a new activity and meet new people. That is the most important part of healing and learning to leave those memories in the past where they belong. You may not have realized it at the time, but sometimes being so focused on a friendship cuts out all other ties. Its time to regain those ties with former friends. Even if they haven’t received a call from you in years, trust that hearing from an old friend is always welcoming. Make plans with old friends, get out and try to meet other people while your at it. You may be surprised how many interesting people you meet along the way.
If you are having a hard time getting out with old friends, there are other ways to get out there and find people who share your interests. Do you enjoy reading? Join a book club and meet with others who do as well. Joining an activity that you enjoy which allows you to connect with others can help you to form great friendships with honest people who have your best interest in mind. When a good friend goes bad, remember that you are above them and their betrayal, so give your friendship to someone who deserves it.
Break ups are never easy, whether the break up is permanent or temporary; the most important thing you can do, is never bad mouth your former friend (or your ex) even if the things you want to say about him or her are true. While revenge is sweet, remember what goes around comes around. Be the better person by turning your cheek, now that’s classy!